Another Art Crush.
A friend in Philadelphia told me about Stephen Powers’ work and I’m so in love 😍😍😍
He’s an artist that’s works heavily with typography and if you know me, you know that’s my fave. His project, Love Letters is so inspiringly simple, it’s genius. Mainly bright colors and sentence fragments from would-be poems, the words leap from the wall. Why hasn’t anyone else done anything like this? Just proves that the perfect idea doesn’t have to be complicated Or multilayered, just one that resonates.
The Fear Factor. What Would You Do If You Weren't Afraid?
Does fear rule your world?
The Fear Factor. What Would You Do If You Weren’t Afraid?
Though I haven’t read Facebook COO Sheryl Sandberg’s book Leaning In yet (it is on my reading list), one of the main ideas central to the book that I’ve been hearing about has resonated with me: fear. Fear of what people think of you. Fear of what you cannot do. Fear of what you haven’t even tried yet. Fear of taking a first step. Fear of trying something never attempted before. Fear.
It is amazing how something intangible can control us and mold us. It is impossible to believe that it isn’t a walking and talking entity isn’t it? Physically holding us back and blocking our way.
Oh, the Things You Could Do….
There is a quote: “To get something you’ve never had you must do something you’ve never done.” How is it possible to do anything with fear standing in your path? What would you be able to do if you didn’t allow all of those silly things you are afraid of get in your way? The answer honestly is not much if you allow it to stop you dead in your tracks. What I’ve found is that the root of most fear grows from thoughts of what someone else is going to think about you. My question is why do you care so much about what someone else thinks about you? Attempting to read someone’s mind is a tiresome exercise and rarely yields the results that you hope for. Why not care more about how you will feel knowing that you missed a great opportunity because you were scared to take a chance?
What would you do though? Would you take those tango lessons? Would you talk to that chick in Accounting? Would you start your own business? Would you sleep later? Would you wear a hat? I’ve been amazed at the things that people have told me they don’t do or wouldn’t do all out of the fear of it ‘looking stupid’. Really? It’s a little sad when you limit your life and your possibilities in that way; all reduced to how something will ‘look’.
A BA Degree In Fear.
When I was in college I was known for hanging out in the library. Before every graphic design project I would go and gather around 30 books. It was my ritual; my research…or at least I would tell myself that. Don’t get me wrong. I did and still do adore books, but I would spend over half my time ‘researching’. Then I would finally come up with my idea and then get started executing it with much hesitation. I never had enough time to finish my work so therefore many of my design projects sucked more than they should have. Looking back I realize I was scared. Scared my work wasn’t going to look as good as Ali’s, not be as well thought out as Maria’s, and my exacto knife skills wouldn’t match Isobel’s. I was pretty frozen and left undone by comparing myself to others and being afraid I wouldn’t match up.
I realize now how silly that all was. It is sad to think I wasted so much time being scared. It has definitely made me a little more of a risk-taker when it comes to trying new things with my artwork. I know it sounds dramatic but I’ve vowed to not allow my fear to stop me from creating or being creative. No matter how coocoolicious others believe me to be. Doesn’t matter. I’m being true to myself. That’s more important.
There are some pretty serious repercussions to allowing your fear to take control. Here are a few:
Five Consequences of Fear Ruling Your World.
- You Over-extend Yourself. Simply put, you don’t know how to say no. You are scared that others will believe you are mean, so you say yes…to everything. But does saying ‘yes’ to everything really make you nice or simply scared to say no?
- You Don’t Dream. You are scared to dream for fear of what you consider ‘eventual’ disappointment. You have to dream. Hopes and dreams are what strengthen our spirits when it seems like the chips are down. They are our light at the end of the tunnel, the silver lining of that cloud, the sun that comes out tomorrow, the…well you get the picture.
- People Don’t Know Who You Really Are. If you are afraid to share your feelings and thoughts concerned others with have a problem with them, how will others know how or what you really think about things?
- You Don’t Fall In Love. Don’t need to say much here do I? Love of anything or anyone leaves you vulnerable. Most of us don’t like to be left that wide open. But I know if I hadn’t fallen in love with art at such a young age I wouldn’t be the person I am today…and I definitely like me.
- You Can’t Reach Your Full Potential. Fear leaves you in such a weakened state; it compromises your potential to succeed. Using up so much energy worrying about problems that don’t exist and cowering in corners leaves you pretty spent and a little too tired to follow through when it comes to getting things done.
I’m not saying that you aren’t ever going to be scared. Of course you are. Fear is a natural reaction to challenges that we sometimes face. It is what you do in spite of your fear that can define you today, tomorrow, and for a lifetime.
Haters Gonna Hate...
What do you do when those you spend the most time with might be affecting your work negatively?
Have you ever had a friend in your life that you loved spending time with and loved talking to, but alternately did not feel that you could truly trust? A ‘friend’ that you spend time with that, instead of making you feel great, your self-esteem takes a hit each minute you are in their presence? A special artist colleague you share ideas with, who says they’ll never work and turns around and uses the same ideas they criticized? Sounds like you might have a frenemy.
How do you know when someone is a frenemy?
Frenemy, (spelled alternately frienemy) is defined as enemy pretending to be a friend or someone who really is a friend but is also a rival. The term is used to describe personal, geopolitical, and commercial relationships both among individuals and groups or institutions.
Personally, I don’t believe in the idea of frenemies. I believe that people are primarily encouraging or discouraging forces in one’s life; friend or enemy. It has become quite the trend to think of a friend or two in one’s entourage as a frenemy (just watch reruns of Gossip Girl or Work of Art: The Next Great Artist). Eventhough the phrase has been around for a while, it seems as if the idea of having a friend that doubles as an enemy really has taken off in the past few years and is even seen as acceptable. But truly it is difficult for a friend and enemy to exist in the same space. There are a few who do believe it is possible though.
Some might argue that having a friend who isn’t afraid to critique and criticize might make you a stronger person able to defend your ideas, but when that’s all your ‘friend’ does it knocks any relationship off balance and tips the scales more toward the negative.
Friendships already require lots of work. Why have friends that make you feel bad too?
It is true. To be a good friend is a job; usually one worth having. But when the negative and positive aspects to a friendship aren’t balanced you might feel that having certain folks as friends is more work than it is worth.
As an artist, surrounding yourself with those who will encourage and positively influence you is a must. It is even more important because the positive or negative feelings influence you and how you work. It is great to have someone in your life who challenges you to try new media, take an idea to another level, or open your own studio, but when the ‘challenges’ tip the scales more toward the negative then maybe a reassessment is in order:
Maybe you have to choose. I am not saying that you have to, but an article about the cause of frenemy type relationships I read recently points the finger at a lack of space between professional and personal lives. Maybe you have a friend that you share a studio with, live with, and hang out with. Maybe a little space and separation is in order. If you are living and working with someone, hang out with another group of friends when you leave the studio. Hanging out and working together? Perhaps change your living situation. The fact remains; changes might need to be made to salvage the work relationship or the friendship. Sometimes spending 30 hours a day together just doesn’t work.
Know the difference. Know the difference between someone that is purposely hurting you and someone who is simply a clueless bumbling idiot when it comes to their interactions with others. If your friend is of the bumbling idiot persuasion tell them how you feel. Hopefully that will nip things in the bud.
Understand what and who affects you and how. Went to dinner and a movie with Chip and now you feel like crap. Either you have food poisoning or Chip might be a little toxic. If conversation usually hovers around the energy vampire level (that is sucking all of the good energy and light out of a room) every time you are together then don’t ignore the obvious: Chip makes you feel a little queasy. Pay close attention to how you feel when in the company of others. Why spend time with people who make you feel not so great? Life is too short.
Accept challenges, not disrespect. If someone is challenging you do become a better artist and or person don’t confuse the fear of change with actual straight up ugly toxicity. When a person you hang out with is not respectful of you, and your ideas and feelings it is obvious, you will feel it.
Know when it is time to kick someone to the curb. I know it sounds harsh, but the simplified version of the story is: This person is negative. They make you feel bad. You need to leave them in the dust. The end. If you’ve already made attempts to express your feelings and work on a friendship and they’ve been ignored, you might have to move on. The end (again). Your call.
I'm Just the Messenger...
Listen, I am not telling you to dump all of your friends. With every friendship there are ups and downs; nobody is perfect.
I am just saying be observant of how those you spend the most time with affect your being and your spirit. Keep those who encourage you, love you, help you to grow, support you, and help you to expand your horizons close by. You might notice a difference in the way you feel and the artwork you produce.