Sketchbook Sketchings
“Sketching is the breath of art: it is the most refreshing of all the more impulsive forms of creative self-expression and, as such, it should be as free, and happy…”
“Sometimes the very best of all summer books is a blank notebook. Get one big enough, and you can practice sketching the lemon slice in your drink or the hot lifeguard on the beach or the vista down the hill from your cabin.”
The Sketch Book Isn’t Always Full.
I can’t remember the last time I was really with out some type of sketch book. Even when I was 8 or so I had a steno pad I drew in. I didn’t keep anything, I just gave the drawings away. I also would put them in envelopes and decorate them; give them as gifts. I had (still have) a thing for receiving mail. Receiving mail is like a surprise gift, hopefully… (“What’s in the Box!?!?!” Forgive my movie reference. I couldn’t resist.)
Dont think I don’t ever use my phone for notes and such, I do. I have 600 pictures and 100 types of notes and lists. I am just the type of artist that also needs to touch things: a pen, the paper, smear things with my fingers, rip some paper… It can’t be replaced.
Books, Books Everywhere.
I keep books kind of everywhere these days. In my purse I always have a book. In my car I have a book for notes and thoughts since I listen to audiobooks and music all of the time. They are all a combination of thought/idea books or word sketches (since I can totally make up my own things here) with sketches for work or design layouts. I have a book specifically for my community work. That was a gift. I keep ideas, meeting notes and such in it. I make my own books too but also buy books. I just bought 2.
Playing Favorites.
My favorite of all is to sketch on tracing paper. I overlay and combine previous sketches plus I love the way the paper sounds…all crinkly. Makes me feel like I’m doing something. It’s also nice to use in collages. It allows you to layer with transparency. I usually make it more transparent by adding an oil.
I just did these collage sketches last night, adding to a sketch book from college actually. I realized recently as I was going through it mining for ideas (best reason to keep a book) that I still had space in it. I do this type of sketching when I’m going through an artistic transition of some kind and need to work through it.
The first is a tiny canvas about 2 inches x 2 inches the rest are in my book. All components are recycled.
Let's Break The Wheel!! For Reals This Time.
What we can all do to break the wheel.
Photo Credit: Katie Awad
An Artist By Any Other Media.
Last summer after I finished up my last show, Play Play, I came across an announcement for another visual art show. It was a group show. Many people doing several different kinds of work were included. Group shows are always interesting at least for that reason alone. I was caught off guard when I saw they were charging a $10 entry fee. Ten dollars? Who pays to get into a visual arts show? There’s no performance right? I checked the announcement again and saw that there wasn’t. Even though I wasn’t planning to go, I was annoyed.
First I was annoyed at the audacity: Charge for a visual arts show ? Pffffffft!! (Imagine me doing this with a dramatic flick of my hand.) Then I was annoyed with myself: why shouldn’t a visual artist charge to see their work? Musicians do. Dancers do. In various places and spaces they even have tip jars present. Why shouldn’t a visual artist charge for the privilege of seeing their work? I commend these artists for not only banding together to show their work, but also asking to be compensated in a way that visual artists aren’t usually. I can admit when I”m wrong. I was.
Though I’m pretty sure it wasn’t necessarily their aim, but they should also be acknowledged for their efforts to break the wheel.
What’s This “Break the Wheel” Nonsense?
''Break the wheel” is a Game of Thrones reference. Though the show has ended there is still so much that has been learned from it! So good! But I digress. Just in case you’re not into GOT I will spare you a long synopsis of the show by saying the phrase is shorthand for changing a broken, ailing, and corrupt system that benefits only a few. Especially if it isn’t working really. I can definitely say that artists not being compensated for their work but still expected to do it for free and with a flourish is not even a real system at all. It’s not just artists that have to work to break the wheel but anyone who loves art and wants to support the artists who make it.
But It’s Not My Fault, Is It? Actually It Is.
The same society that teaches us that artists should be poor, that artists should be starving, and still have 5 jobs to cobble together an income is the same one that tells us there is no reason to compensate an artist for their work. More often than not we pay to see work in museums. I paid to get into individual shows when I attended Art Basel a couple years ago. Why shouldn’t gallery shows or any other type of show where you see work on the walls or sculpture in the room charge entry? I freely admit I had been brainwashed by the same system. I’d participated in the system that said I don’t need to get paid because I love my work. Shouldn’t we all love our work though (a topic for another day!)?
Though it’s scary, I’ve decided that I am changing the way I think about my work. It’s about to get a little crazy probably. But that’s ok right? We are breaking the wheel!!! I want you to join me for the ride.
I Want You, Yes YOU!
I LOVE MY WORK!!!! Sometimes it’s like being in love and I want to shout it from a rooftop. I want everyone to be a part of it. I want my own art tribe. I want to be able to talk to people about my work. Share what I’m up to! All of the facets of my work and know I’m sharing with my crew, people who care!
Patreon (a site that houses the space where you can support me directly) and creating an opportunity for fans of my work to become a member of my tribe is one way I am working to change things. Fans of my work who want to see me finally finish a project I’ve been working on for the past two years can support me directly and mark my progress on various projects. This is a part of me breaking the wheel. This could be the first step for a lot of us. Take a look at my page here. Become a member of my art tribe.
Let’s Do This!
Can We Be Allowed To Evolve...Please?
Kevin Hart was recently taken to task over comments and/or jokes he made on his Twitter feed in 2011. As a result he decided to step down as host of an awards show. Al Franken lost his job as a representative in part because of a picture he took in poor taste (and some other things, but that is where the outrage began) over 13 years ago. Both apologized. Believing their actions were funny and or acceptable at the time of their actions have since evolved into different people with different perspectives. Not that apologies solve every problem (it is a place to start at least), but neither does roasting someone over a fire…that’s a different chat we can have later though.
I directly relate these cultural conversations to how we as artists often experiment, try new subject matter and techniques that don’t always work out. Maybe you should have done more research? Maybe all of the work in that red, white, and purple phase you were going through should be burned? Maybe you shouldn’t have written ten songs about cheese and posted them on SoundCloud?
These individuals engaged in either activities or behavior that many years later doesn’t reflect on them in the best way. But I don’t feel it is my job as someone looking at their past actions to be their judge, nor is it really the right of any of us to judge them in the fickle court of public opinion; especially through the lens of social media which has shown itself to be inaccurate at best. I do think it is my job as a fellow human being and artist to ask: What have I done in my past that might not reflect well on the person I’ve evolved into today? How proud would I be of all the artwork I did in college? Would I be willing to pull it all out of boxes, portfolios, and closets for the world to see? Am I willing to stand behind all of the art choices I made in high school?
My point? We all make mistakes or simply have done things at various times in our lives that we wouldn’t think shows the best of who we are as people in our current manifestation. Can’t we have the opportunity to move beyond who we’ve been to become who we should be without being punished for the entirety of our life? I think so.
Don’t we evolve as humans and professionally? Shouldn’t others be given the opportunity to as well?
This Year Let’s Be Different. P.S. Don’t Be Like This Guy. He’s An Ass.
I’ll Start Here.
The year or so I’ve been working on a community art project. A mural.
It has been a passion project. My desire is to see art in places where it isn’t. That is what has carried me forward: seeing it done.
Working as a community advocate has been surprising. A sad sort of surprising in some ways. Support has come from expected and unexpected places. Turbulence came from mostly unexpected places. I don’t usually focus on an expectation for negativity.
Not that I haven’t been doing this work for a while, I have. It’s just in the process of community building I received some unwanted gifts: sexism, racism, disrespect, and this past week as the mural culminated with it’s magical manifestation on a wall over five days…straight up insanity.
The past week and a half has been met mostly with folks appreciating the mural. This mural, the first of its kind in this neighborhood, was welcomed with people honking car horns in appreciation, people stopping by to say hello and say thank you. So positive!
Because the Universe is mostly balanced, there is Yin and Yang where there is positive there must always be the opposite in balance. There has been a whole cast of characters; mostly sane and positive. Then there were just a couple punks. That’s where the guy in the picture with the two kids comes along.
Douche Baggery.
One of the days I’d left the art site to run errands, the artist painting the mural shared a little about a man that stopped by and attempted to woo her with his ‘charisma’. That’s sarcasm by the way. He told her he was from New York- as if that was an indicator of his worldliness or worthiness- and that because of the brand of cigarettes she smoked he definitely new she would be interested in him. I know. Gross. I was apologetic, but happy that this type of harassment hadn’t been a consistent and unwelcome occurrence during her time painting the mural.
Fast forward to the last day on site and the mural artist is putting on the finishing touches our guy in the picture stops by, we will refer to him as Potter’s House (I’ll share why later). Potter’s House gets out of his vehicle with two adorable little girls in tow. He expresses his appreciation for the mural. Tells me that one of the little girls is an artist. I said awesome and that it was one of the best reasons to stop. To give a little artist encouragement. I told them I could take a picture of them in front of the mural. I introduced myself and we shook hands. He told me I had the handshake of a married woman. Ummm…what? What is the handshake of a married woman? I’ve never heard of such a thing or such a sad pickup line…I guess? My response was that it was the handshake of a strong and independent woman and artist. No marriage needed.
If this is where you think one might insert some witty banter about marriage and relationships, I’d agree with you but then we’d both be wrong. That’s where this douche proceeds to try and tell me that “the strong and independent African-American woman is the reason the African-American communities are falling apart.” His words not mine. That women need “to be concerned with taking care of a family…” Insert a raised eyebrow here. He follows this up with saying he’s a pastor of some kind at Potter’s House (as if this would validate whatever authority he holds in his imagination). Really? That’s definitely a reason not to go to a service there. Actually that’s many reasons not to go, especially if this is a doctrine that they adopt. So. I don’t think I need to tell you my personal response. I will tell you that he ran away from there. Quickly. I will also share that this is the same guy is the guy from NY that attempted to ‘woo’ the mural artist before. I know. Gross.
Why Am I Writing This?
In the past couple of days since that interaction. I think about the little girls that were with Potter’s House. First I think: Sad. A child being used as a prop as a man attempts to pick up women. I wonder how many times that has happened. Then I also think: Sad. Will that little girl get to become an artist because that man believes that she only has two jobs on the planet and they are to birth babies and support her man? Really? This. Still?
This year I want us to become the humans that we are capable of being. Less marginalization and more encouragement and progress. Less douche baggery and more treating others with respect.
I just want us all to choose better and make better choices. I hope that Potter’s House -each time he passes by the mural with a young girl as its focal point- begins to understand that women weren’t put on the earth to simply accept the blame when men’s ideas don’t go as planned, but they can be larger than life goddesses that can be strong and independent and smart. Women can choose to have families or they can choose to be artists or how about both!! But most of all in this new year I hope that Potter’s House chooses to be less of a misogynistic ass.
Happy New Year everyone!
#NotAFan But I Really Want To Be.
It’s not the job of artists to sanitize themselves for the sake of public consumption or branding; but it is our responsibility to think about our legacy and how what we produce as artists affects the world as a whole.
Opinions Are Not Safe Spaces.
I am not a fan of Beyoncé or Jay-Z.
There. I said it. Out in the rest of the world.
I am saying this out in the rest of the world that has become obsessed with them as individuals, become obsessed with their children, her pregnancies, more obsessed with these two personalities than they are with living their own lives in general. In a world that has become obsessed with only spending time with and interacting with those who only ‘like’ what they like. In a world that has become obsessed with ‘safe spaces’ and a lack of intellectual discourse on why we might individually disagree on why coffee ice cream is the best and agree to disagree having heard each other out.
Sure, I like some of his beats and whoever she has chosen to do the styling and choreography for her videos have powers on the creative scale that are pretty amazing (Pharrell is wondrous), but I am not a fan. I don’t know Beyoncé Knowles-Carter or Shawn Carter. Not personally. So what I am not a fan of are their public personas; Of what they are putting out into the world that will stand as their legacy. This is something every artist has the opportunity to choose and painstakingly craft for ourselves. Our brand. Our public persona. Don’t we? Most of us don’t have a team of 20 to help us do it though.
Voldemort.
I remember a while ago, I said I wasn’t a fan of Beyoncé’s public persona at an art show during a conversation, before I became a little more leary of how obsessed others become with the lives of others. After I said, it there was a sharp intake of air from the guy I was talking to. He choked and sputtered a little bit, gave me a very suspicious once over. His response was not unlike someone overhearing some foolish character in Harry Potter saying ‘Voldemort’. Isn’t an art show of all places a space where we can discuss what we aren’t quite in alignment with and why? Isn’t this where discussions with obnoxiously, pompously smart people happen? Oh… Ok. No? I was obviously mistaken. Pardon my ignorance. Keep my real opinions to myself. Right.
We didn’t talk again after that. Not being a part of the Beyhive to him meant we were incompatible, even as just friends. Call me crazy but I think that’s weird. Since when don’t I have the room in any relationship to not like exactly what you do? Is this who we’ve become as a country. Just joking. That’s obviously rhetorical. Look what’s going on with us politically.
#Sad | #Genius
For the first time, recently, I saw all of the “Apeshit” video. (Sure I’m a little late on this but does it matter?) Heard all of the lyrics. I came to understand that fame is a disease. It is really a monster. I don’t know who said it first but Gaga made it famous: Fame is a monster. It’s dirty. It changes things. The lyrics writhe and revel in the idea of fame and public validation:
“I said no to the Super Bowl: you need me, I don't need you
Every night we in the end zone, tell the NFL we in stadiums too
Last night was a fuckin' zoo
Stagedivin' in a pool of people
Ran through Liverpool like a fuckin' Beatle
Smoke gorilla glue like it's fuckin' legal
Tell the Grammy's fuck that 0 for 8 shit
Have you ever seen a crowd goin' apeshit? “
Have I ever? Umm…well, first I don’t every really refer to anyone really in terms that compare them to animals. It insults animals and people at some point and then you know the history of brown people being referred to as apes and such? Right? Have I ever seen a crowd going ‘crazy’? Sure. For me? No. That group of people is relatively small. Most of us have no experience with playing stadiums. Of course you don’t need the NFL, but you do know what they use those stadiums for right?
If this is all for the sake of being ‘ironic’ or if this is a caricature or parody of a self-centered, self-contained universe and I didn’t get it, well, what can I say? But if it isn’t…
My only question would be if this was all anyone ever heard about you, heard from you, experienced of you…Would you be satisfied? Is this what you’d want others to know and remember?
I loved the video (I am honestly a fan of most of Beyoncé’s videos). Love. What’s genius: juxtaposing yourself (as artist) with some of the most famous and recognizable pieces of art (even for those who don’t study art). Genius: being posed as royalty in a world where the worth of brown skin seems to have taken a sharp nose dive (prison industrial complex anyone?). Genius: cinematography, choreography, styling. Genius: having dance leotards correspond to the color of each dancers’ skin. Therefore giving it value and importance. Genius: using an institution ( the Louvre) that houses some of the most famous works of art in the world, where most of said works of art have those of us whose skin is on the darker side of brown, usually just depicted as slaves or servants and rarely in positions of power. Baby? Haven’t we arrived? Insert The Jeffersons (or something more recent and relevant) theme song here.
It takes bravery, even when you’re already loved and accepted as a certain type of artist to do something conceptual and different. To play the long game and go a little deeper. Like any other artist, it’s taking a chance that some will get what you are attempting to convey and others won’t.
What’s sad for me though: the lyrics; for both of them. Their work together and separately. That’s it. Nothing else I really don’t like. But isn’t that all? Aren’t lyrics everything? Or at least a huge part of the music experience? A great beat has its place, but I digress…I believe in everyone’s right to express themselves and not give a sanitized version just for the sake of public consumption. We are multifaceted beings. But. You have to take a bath a some point don’t you? Clean your house at some point, right? Face the sun at some point. Or don’t I guess…But I say show your smart self. Use the vocabulary that some don’t believe brown people possess. Evolve. Do more. Be more. Be something other than a stereotype. Being something other than a stereotype does not mean becoming something that is simply easily digestible and that doesn’t shake people.
Here is a word puzzle/analogy/SAT word association: Painting is to hanging on someone’s wall behind their coordinated sofa as Popular Music is to elevator music.
What artist strives to simply hang on the wall in someone’s kitchen (I guess it might depend on who’s kitchen to some) or be Muzak? Not many. It depends on what your goals are. Most artists want to be relevant. Not just part of a conversation but the entire conversation or those who change the conversation. When I think about music I think of playing it in my car and the people next to me hearing it, am I proud of what I am playing at eardrum bursting decibels? I think of young impressionable children being influenced by it. Are they encouraged to change the world, be creative, love…or “go apeshit"? It is the same way I feel about the art I create. I want to meet people where they are and take them on a journey. When people ask me to explain my work and speak about it intelligently I need to be able to do so without putting up walls that others can’t see around or get over don’t I?
A pet peeve of mine with other artists though is feeling that you have to put negativity into the world in order to add gravity to its meaning. In order for people to understand that darkness exists you don’t have to use the vocabulary of darkness or inject it into everything. For people to pay attention. Not only the dark side is meaningful. The balance is the meaning. Negative is already there. It always is. Without me or anyone else creating more of it.
The words! It’s about the words! You can’t change history. Even something as powerful as art can’t change it. You can paint it differently. That’s all. It is just a fact. Just like you can’t erase slavery or turn it into something positive, you can’t take n**** and turn it into a ‘positive’ word. It’s not my word. It’s not your word. It is hate manifest as a word. For me it affects the way I absorb anything.
Be More Than The Brand.
What I am a fan of as far as Beyoncé being and entity unto herself, Jay-Z, and The Carters as a partnership is the business sense. The branding. The polish. The vision. Magnificent.
My challenge to them and any artist honestly is to forget about the hubris, fame and all of its trappings. Do your work. Do good work. Be more than the brand. Be deeper. Be more than the polish. Understand the legacy. Be more than the words. Convey meaning. Be more than just Hip-Hop royalty, the manifestation of a bygone era that benefits from hierarchy, caste, women bumping and grinding/staying in their place, and stepping on the neck of someone else to validate a sense of self-importance. Be regal and be artists with a conscience and a true understanding of how what they make affects the world around them.
The Face of Art
Have you ever watched the show the Next Great Artist? It was, all at once, the most horrible, eye-opening, car crash of a television show. Though the show is no longer producing new episodes it still stands as testimony that some of us buy into the theory that art can be manufactured and packaged, and branded without it having a disastrous effect on the idea of art as a whole.
Could You Be Standing In Your Own Way Creatively?
What's Stopping your work from moving to the next level? Could it be you?
Join the Owl Army!
Want to be a part of the energy and excitement that fuels One Spark?? Well read on!
CALLING ALL ONE SPARK ENTHUSIASTS!
As you know Art Guardian is at OneSpark this year. Cindy Platt has graciously given me a spot at her space Down the Rabbit Hole. Yaay!
So guess what? I have a great way for you to be more than a spectator!
You too can be a part of the energy and creativity that fuels One Spark! I'll need a few volunteers to act as sort of brand representatives and others to participate in a unique performance piece I have planned for the festival. It will be fun! You will be paid with my love and devotion forevah!
This way you be a part of the excitement of the festival and be awesome all at the same time.
Let me know you are interested in helping out by joining the event on Facebook or you can email me: tracie@theurbanatelier.com or theurbanatelier@yahoo.com and we'll go from there.
Storyteller Story #5: I Talk to the Spirits
This may be the last time,
This may be the last time,
This may be the last time. It may be the last time, I don’t know…
Ohhhhh, I remember when I was a little girl in church in the middle pew. Smack dab in the middle. Hair in pig tails. “All rise.” Fellowship time. Sister Washington bangin’ away on that old piano. Time to sing: This May Be The Last Time. My favorite. Our voices come together as one. Mostly off key but still one. The Lord hears our cry. Better when we raise our voices together. The Lord hears my prayers. Oh I know what people say about me. The Lord hears me and I hear him right back. I got the gift. Just like my mama and her mama before her. “Those Francois women…witches all of em…” Kids would tell the teacher I was giving them the evil eye in school. That’s all it took for the teacher to give me the strap. But the nasty stuff folks say don’t change nothin’: the dead talk and they talk to me. There’s nothin’ wrong with bein’ dead jus’ like there’s nothin’ wrong with bein’ alive. Both sides want to be heard. I’m just one of the ones that can hear ev’rybody. Even if what they sayin’ ain’t worth half a penny.
Storyteller Story #4: Red Is My Power Color
If you want something you’ve got to get it yourself. Just take it. You can’t sit around waiting on someone to give it to you. I keep telling Jenny: “Stop waiting on Bob. He’s a selfish asshole. A loser.” I keep telling her he’s not worth her time, but she won’t listen. Not my problem. I’ve got my own problems to deal with. Plus I’m busy. Work. Gym. More work. Repeat. Work. Gym. More work. Repeat. Then I’m always having to clean up someone else’s mess. I learned how to take care of myself early. That’s the problem with most people they don’t take responsibility. They make stupid mistakes and want other people to clean it up. You’ve got to take control of the situation or you’ll drown. I tell Jenny all of the time: “Bob will drag you down. He’s dead weight.” But she won’t let go. She just won’t let go.